DODGER FANS ARE GHETTO!!!
Yes, you heard me correctly...and you thieves know who you are...I apologize for making such a blanket statement to TRUE BLUE fans but if you allow your fellow BLUE to act the way they did...shame on BLUE!!!
That's correct shame on BLUE!
Here is the scene...first of all my old RH Life group buddies invited me to take an extra ticket to the Saturday, March 29, 2008 - 8pm, historical expo LA Dodgers vs. Boston Red Sox game at the LA Colosseum (original home of the LA Dodgers). It was a fun day of hot coals, chips & salsa, some killer dogs, beer, some crazy grilled mushroom & onion topping and a bunch of Red Sock fans and a few Dodger strays...and a true BLUE (ghetto!).
Anyway, like I was saying GHETTO...started when we got to the Dodgers stadium to free parking and shuttles to the Colosseum. Sound too good to be BLUE! Yes, there was a line of thousands of people and couple of random no named charter buses and some lost airport shuttle short buses attempting to shuttle the thousands of fans in an efficient, orderly fashion.
People had been waiting in line for 2 hours just to get on the shuttles...did I mention we got there at about 4pm and there over 5,000 people in line and counting..
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Some salsa & chip, bratwurst filled Christians tossing charcoal into the foothills and jumping in our cars to find parking near USC. Don't worry we buried the charcoal...Did I mention the adventure of trying to leave Dodgers stadium parking while thousands of cars were trying to get in to the madness....
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USC/Shrine Auditorium traffic madness...however...our God is gracious and compassionate therefore we found parking for all 3 of our vehicles within walking distance. We were lucky enough to find parking on fraternity row! LOL....We even found a Christian Centered Fraternity...Alpha...something Omega...google it!
We walked through the campus of USC and ventured closer to the colosseum when fate stepped in....
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CLOSE UP on a bacon wrapped hot dog
Hispanic woman
"Hola!"
CLOSE UP on my sweaty brow, a drip of saliva on my chin, and my hands reaching towards my wallet....then STOP!
Okay...so I was FULL...I just had 3 dogs, a half a bag of chips, a half a pineapple, a bunch of grapes and a bottle of water....and it took a while for my 35 year old stomach to say NO to my 20 year old appetite.
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Another line of thousands trying to walk into the colosseum...and as soon as the latino fans saw some of my Boston Red Sox Cap wearing fans walk into line....the GHETTOness started!
"BOOYAHH!!! BOSTON SUCKS (Beep...beep...beep) BOSTON...(beep) You and your SOX Loving (Beep)....Go (Beep) Yourself (Beep)....
And like all nice Christian white girls from Orange County (who are probably used to Disney-fide Angels games) they surprisingly took the cheap yells, the thrown kettle corn, and the Chola glares in stride...I'm sure a few if not all of them were praying for safety. And even if I couldn't hear them praying I could see the "Jesus Help" stare on their brows.
Thankfully, no one was injured or seriously battered, or when I'm in South Central....I like to say, "No one was cut!"(wiping off my brow)
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2 hours later we were finally sitting in our seats...and 2 minutes after that I was ready to leave. Not that I wasn't having fun...but the game was just boring...and the field seemed a nation away...incidentally...have you ever scene a baseball game at the Colosseum...I felt like was in Europe or some Latin American country at a soccer match that the Dodgers and Red Sox crashed the field. Needless to say, the game was uneventful for the Dodgers....I'm not sure what the final score was but the last time I was paying attention it was Dodgers 1 Red Sox 4 or something. Thank God for Kettle Corn!
So if they weren't already ghetto enough...it got worse!
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A beautiful latino baby gazing around at all 75 or so Dodger Blue flags (very reminiscent of the Greek Flag...lol) blowing in the wind around the colosseum.
Baby begins to cry....
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A Dodger fan pulling out a knife...another a lighter...
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CLOSE UP:
A Dodger fan at the base of one of the Dodger flags, gnawing the rope with his teeth to pull the flag down. Another cutting the ropes with a switchblade...while another tries to burn through the flag rope with his cigarette lighter.
(Camera widens)
An epidemic of theft begins to ensue as we see most if not all of the Dodgers flags are being cut down and pillaged.
In the distance you hear the latino babe crying loudly!
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Two Boston Red Sox fans running down to the police to inform them of the criminal activities that have enveloped the colosseum. A brawl ensue below...the baby cries louder....
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Two police officer's chase a latino man in a Dodgers jacket and cap with a stolen flag as another theif is escorted by the Police down another aisle with his baby and stolen flag in hand to be charged and arrested.
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Stadium Jumbotron CLOSE UP:
TRUE BLUE fan with his hand on the flag and the other on a the rope caught in the act of stealing with the text flashing..."PUT THE FLAG BACK...I SAID... PUT THE FLAG BACK!"
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Another brawl happens and we are informed by the jumbo-tron that we are all part of breaking the world record for largest attended baseball game in history!
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Screaming fans and then a what seemed like a mass Exodus of sorts.
I don't know if they were just done with the game...just wanted to be part of history and then out of there...or that they wanted to be the first in line to get in the 2 hour shuttle line to get back to Dodger stadium...
Did I say "GHETTO!!!"
Alas, the evening ended...the Sox continued to win and the Dodgers Administration continued to bring C & D rated celebrities onto the field to pitch. Thrilling.....ZZZZzzzz!
Finally, we opted to leave and a tear fell as I looked around at all of the empty flag poles...oh the HUMANITY!!!! What would put my faith back into the latino people who worked hard to live in LA.
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Me running out of the Colosseum crowd into a open walkway to get some air and away from the crowd. A cart roles into frame to cut me off. Smoke films the screen.
(Camera widens)
Onto a latina hot dog entrepreneur and her makeshift hot dog grill. I look down.
CLOSE UP:
On a BACON-WRAPPED HOT DOG!
Latina woman says, "Hola!"
I say "One with the works!"
The world is at balance once again and humanity is forgiven by "GRACE WRAPPED IN BACON."
3 comments:
When I first heard about the anniversary game in the LA Colosseum I was excited until I thought about all the chaos that would come from having it there.
Your summary is good and you're much braver than I!
What great storytelling! I felt like I was right there with you!
I miss baseball season! Go Dodgers!! Thanks for bringing back good memories... :)
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